Jenny and I just got done watching the season premiere of Survivor on the DVR, and I’m ready to make some bold predictions about the “Heroes vs. Villains” cast. (If you haven’t seen it yet and want to be COMPLETELY surprised about who gets voted off this week, don’t read this now; everyone I mention below made it through Week 1.)
Also, full disclosure: I haven’t been watching Survivor anywhere near long enough to exhibit such prognosticating hubris in the presence of many family and friends who have followed the series for years.
Fuller disclosure: The novelty of blogging isn’t even close to wearing off, and I figure I’m not putting much on the line writing about a reality show in a forum with fewer than 20 readers.
Anyway, here are my picks for most likely to:
• Do something so wrong it’s awesome: Russell, Villains
• Get screwed by being too obviously strong: J.T., Heroes
• Be unnecessarily creepy: Tyson, Villains (Three words: leopard print Speedo.)
• Look like a jackass when he abandons his commitment to play a “clean game”: Colby, Heroes (I don’t know him yet. And he’s already bugging me.)
• Make me stand up and cheer when he gets voted off: Colby, Heroes (Exactly.)
• Be smothered while he sleeps: Tie—Coach and Randy, Villains
• Remind me why I love being a part of Red Sox Nation: Boston Rob, Villains (After that preview, though, I just hope he’s OK.)
• Make an exceedingly naïve decision: Amanda, Heroes (The tribe has a “good aura”? Does it also have a lava lamp?)
• Get disproportionately angry because in a Survivor first, someone lied: Coach, Villains (Dragonslayer, don’t speak of an unbreakable alliance with the woman you just met who dresses like a pirate.)
• Deserve to win it all: Russell, Villains (He’s going to go Top 5 in back-to-back seasons.)
And as for your eventual winner (drum roll, please):
• Cirie, Heroes
Scoop that, Entertainment Weekly.