The Ocho on the Rise?

Regular listeners of ESPN Radio no doubt know that as of this Sunday, will officially become This has one fantastic, game-changing implication:

We’re now within five networks/websites of seeing ESPN 8, The Ocho, come to fruition.

If you’ve never watched the movie Dodgeball, this is meaningless. If you have, though, you know this is the fictitious—for now, anyway—network that covers the championship tournament and features the broadcasting talents of Cotton McKnight (played by Lumbergh from Office Space) and Pepper Brooks (Jason Bateman).

Presumably, The Ocho was conceived as a parody of ESPN’s ubiquitous presence in the world of sport. In the Dodgeball universe, the first seven ESPNs had already staked a claim to all the legitimate sports—and a healthy number of the illegitimate ones, as well—leaving The Ocho to cover things like dodgeball tourneys and other activities deemed “almost a sport.”

Makes you wonder how the World Series of Poker ended all the way up on ESPN2.

At first blush, five networks/websites may still seem like a lot. However, if they’d just change the existing ESPNews, ESPN Classic, ESPNU, and ESPN Deportes to ESPN4–7, they’d only be one short. They could then launch a real-life ESPN8 using the movie version as a model. Cotton and Pepper are probably even available to announce.

I know it’s not a simple request, but c’mon, ESPN; it’s the least you can do for a former PA. My Barry Bonds-Fear Factor highlight was off the chain.

I know Keith, my sister-in-law Kate’s boyfriend, will agree. He loves a good piece of ridiculousness, and the Ocho certainly fits that bill. Case in point: I can’t prove it, but I suspect he’s been the one posting comments to the dining room office under some clever aliases. Plus, today he became an official follower of the blog. All this means he is now the 18th member of the D.R.O.P. List.

So, believe in the Ocho. Keith and I do.


  1. Chris

    If the Ocho ever comes to fruition, then I wanna be the play-by-play announcer for some ridiculous event like darts or horseshoes. I would want to do it ala SNL's Pete Twinkle (Jason Sudeikis) and the best color man in the biz, Greg Stink (Will Forte).That due might just be as funny, if not funnier than McKnight and Brooks.Pete Twinkle: Ha! Greg, I've always wanted to ask you something: What's the highest level of education you've completed?Greg Stink: [laughing] I'll never tell! My lips are sealed!Pete Twinkle: Oh. yeah? Speaking of sealed lips: Vagasil! We'll be right back!

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