Squirrel Feeders

This is what I saw on my way to lunch today:

In case you can’t tell what’s going on (I literally took this while I was still moving–hence the blurriness and the mad display of graphic design skills), this person is feeding a squirrel. I see this almost every day here. I have only one question:

Why?

It’s basically a rat with a bushy tail and the alarming ability to scale trees or, I don’t know, your leg, at a rapid rate. A squirrel is a wild animal, people, not your gerbil. And these things are so used to being hand-fed now that they aren’t just fat; they’re fearless. I’ve seen a few that could take down a small dog.

Jenny, if I don’t make it back from Subway one day, you’ll know why.

Of course, this could just be a well-thought-out career plan. Suing because you got bit and then got rabies seems as close to a legal slam dunk as you can get.

USA, USA, USA.

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6 comments

  1. Evelyn

    If you grew up in Chicago as I did, the squirrels were as prevalent as stray dogs and cats … and back then, they were all VERY prevalent! (Do you like my use of ellipses?) Anyway, if you wanted to remain somewhat sane, you tended to treat them as you would a dog or cat, so you'd feed them! But now, as we try to feed wild birds instead, Jerry has taken to rigging up bird feeders to keep the food from the squirrels. They're way smarter than you might think. So you'll be happy to know that we never feed squirrels anymore — well, almost never.

  2. Ted

    As long as you're not letting them eat the food out of your hand–as we see routinely–I think you'll be OK. And if you are, just give me fair warning so I can stay at a safe distance.Oh, and good work on the ellipsis.

  3. Ted

    Still love the Lulu (although I'm kind of on the Buccaneer lately). However, there's no Jimmy John's within walking distance of my office. There's only one person I know who could remedy that.

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