Ladies and gentlemen, all the entries have been counted, and it’s time to pick the winner of the dining room office’s First-Ever “How Desperate Am I?” @KnowWhosAwesome Contest.
Johnny, fire up the random number generator.*
Let’s see here … #21 … why, that’s @brendandoyle05!
Congratulations, Brendan! You have 10 minutes to call in and say the phrase that pays to claim your $50 Amazon gift card!
Or, you know, I’ll just DM you.
* There is no Johnny. And this is totally tape-delayed; the drawing already happened. Sorry to burst that bubble.