Good morning, good afternoon, or good evening, depending on when you’re reading this, and welcome to the championship of the Bracket of Bad Back-Window Family Stickers.
After two rounds of action that can only be described as “having happened,” we are now ready to determine whose need to advertise the constitution of their family via adhesive pictographs is the most obnoxious.
To say that this final matchup is a surprise would be an understatement along the lines of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey is appointment viewing.” Indeed, no one could’ve seen this coming.
In the first Final Four showdown, the 4 seed, That’s a Lot of Mouse Ears, not only beat top-seeded Zombie Apocalypse but destroyed them, going all Allen Iverson talking about practice over their rotting corpses.
In the second game, it was another upset, albeit a milder one, with the 3, I Still Don’t Believe Your Dad Got Laid, convincingly defeating No. 2, You’re Making Us Sad.
So now, it’s time for the last dance. There are two Cinderellas, but only one glass slipper. Whom will you make Prince Charming?
Wait, that’s not right. They’d still be Cinderella, so you’d be … the fairy godmother? Oh, hell. Screw it.
Anyway, here’s the main event:
3. I Still Don’t Believe Your Dad Got Laid
4. That’s a Lot of Mouse Ears
Vegas says the smart money is on That’s a Lot of Mouse Ears after what they did to the undead. Then again, Vegas is what I’m calling the raccoon that lives under my in-laws’ deck, so who knows how plugged in he is on this kind of stuff.
Voting is open now via the poll near the upper left corner of the page. You have just under a week to crown your champion. Choose wisely.
Or not. This whole thing is pretty inconsequential.