50 Words or Less(-ish) Fridays: Jeff Somers

Each week, I ask someone interesting a question at least tangentially related to the subject of humor and request that she/he respond in 50 words or less.

Or somewhere in the ballpark of 50 words. That’s why there’s an “-ish.” I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but this site isn’t exactly a bastion of rigidity.

Jeff SomersThis week I’m pleased to welcome in Jeff Somers, a native of Jersey City, N.J., where, he notes, they have yet to name anything after him. Jeff has published six novels, five of which (the Avery Cates series) he says he’s confident people have actually read. His sixth novel, Trickster, comes out next month from Pocket Books. He’s also published dozens of short stories, including “Ringing the Changes,” which appeared in The Best American Mystery Stories 2006 edited by Scott Turow, and “sift, almost"Trickster" cover invisible, through,” which was selected for the anthology Crimes by Moonlight edited by Charlaine Harris.

Jeff maintains a blog at jeffreysomers.com, sometimes revealing terrible secrets and then having to buy everyone’s silence. And anyone who follows him on Twitter (@jeffreysomers) knows he is a connoisseur of fine alcohol.

Hence:

For my 33 Project, I need to “Learn to drink Scotch.” What should I be drinking, and how will I know when I’m doing it right?

First of all, Scotch should be pricey. My advice would be, if you can afford the bottle you’re looking at, think bigger. Second, avoid new-fangled Scotches that incorporate words like monster or fireball. Stick with unpronounceable Gaelic-infused names. Third, never mix Scotch. If you’re going to mix your whiskey with something go find a nice cheap bourbon to do so. Fourth, it’s traditional to buy your Whiskey Mentor drinks. Don’t be a rebel.

Never mix Scotch? Since the start of the 33 Project, I’ve had ONE Scotch & soda on two separate occasions, and both times I felt like the Kenny Bania absinthe fairy in EuroTrip.

Yes, I realize how embarrassing that is. But can I help it if I’m a huge Michelle Trachtenberg fan?

Nevertheless, Jeff is indeed my Whiskey Mentor, so I must follow his rules. Stay tuned for the results.

In the meantime, please thank Jeff for stopping by this week by going and checking out Trickster. If you didn’t notice, there’s a testimonial from The New York Times on that cover, which is pretty heavy-duty.

Next week, I’ll be joined by Jennifer Zobair (@jazobair), whose novel Painted Hands is forthcoming from Thomas Dunne/St. Martin’s Press.

Interested in being featured in “50 Words or Less(-ish) Fridays” or know someone who should be? Let me know.

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