Dry Me Maybe

The following is dedicated to my wife’s clothes. If you haven’t heard the Carly Rae Jepsen song on which it is based, I don’t mean to alarm you, but you may be dead.

And now:

I pulled some clothes from the wash,
My t-shirts, not much for cost,
High heat, they still turn out boss,
And now you’re in my way.

Lululemon yoga pants,
Tank with a picture of France,
Dress that leaves me entranced,
But now you’re in my way.

That load was rinsin,’
This head, brain was spinnin,’
Right now, so not winnin,’
What to do with linen, Snuggle?

Hey, I just washed you,
The next step’s haze-ee.
Look, here’s the care tag,
It says: “Dry me maybe.”

You’re driving all the … men folk craz-ee,
Look, here’s the care tag,
It says: “Dry me maybe.”

Hey, I just washed you,
The next step’s haze-ee.
Look, here’s the care tag,
It says: “Dry me maybe.”

And the need to line dry
Is kinda shade-ee.
Look, here’s the care tag,
It says: “Dry me maybe.”

StyleMint tees do not go in,
Think heating Anthro’s a sin,
Pretty sure J. Crew likes the wind,
But still you’re in my way.

I sort and unload and cry,
Hell on earth for a guy,
Forever 21, why?
But you’re in my way.

That load was rinsin,’
This head, brain was spinnin,’
Right now, so not winnin,’
What to do with linen, Snuggle?

Hey, I just washed you,
The next step’s haze-ee.
Look, here’s the care tag,
It says: “Dry me maybe.”

You’re driving all the … men folk craze-ee,
Look, here’s the care tag,
It says: “Dry me maybe.”

Hey, I just washed you,
The next step’s haz-ee.
Look, here’s the care tag,
It says: “Dry me maybe.”

And the need to line dry
Is kinda shade-ee.
Look, here’s the care tag,
It says: “Dry me maybe.”

Lady clothes you mock me now, I hate you so much,
I hate you so much, I hate you so so much.

True, lady clothes you mock me now, I hate you so much,
Like US hates In Touch, I hate you so so much.

(badass instrumental breakdown)

You’re driving all the … men folk craze-ee,
Look, here’s the care tag,
It says: “Dry me maybe.”

Hey, I just washed you,
The next step’s haze-ee.
Look, here’s the care tag,
It says: “Dry me maybe.”

And the need to line dry
Is kinda shade-ee.
Look, here’s the care tag,
It says: “Dry me maybe.”

Lady clothes you mock me now, I hate you so much,
I hate you so much, I hate you so so much.

True, lady clothes you mock me now, I hate you so much,
Like US hates In Touch.

It says: “Dry me maybe.”

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One comment

  1. Pingback: 50 Words or Less(-ish) Fridays: Mignon Fogarty | Ted Fox is Awesome

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